EricHarlan

What the internet culture has done to me.

You know every so often I have the forward thinking enough to step out of my current place and look at my life from the outside. What I find sometimes is terrifying to say the least.  The internet culture has done things to people that otherwise would have gone on to live full and meaningful lives. Myself included. Now for a list of things the internet has done to me.
If you get all these, count this a sad sad day.
1)    I automatically assume there is an app for life.
2)    I am both terrified and immensely annoyed by pigs
3)    I automatically assume my newborn has a tablet in her crib trading stocks.
4)    I believe everything I read
5)    I start all sentences with a hashtag
6)    I assume all internet sales start at 12 midnight Central Standard Time.
7)    Most of my verbs start with the word Share
8)    Whenever I see a line at an electronics store, I automatically feel compelled to stand in line and spend a ton of money on whatever underwhelming product is being sold. I’ve made it to the end of grocery store checkouts thoroughly confused.
9)I believe all products are underwhelming…
10)    I now think anything I say or do maybe stored on YouTube or Twitter to later haunt me
11)    My attention span has gone from 15 mins to about 27 seconds.
12)    I believe everything Google tells me.
13)    I buy anything Apple tells me
14)    I now assume everything is a tarp
15)    Stare at my cats for long periods and wait for them to hold up signs displaying funny sayingz.
16)    Can’t look at chocolate ice cream cones the same ever again.
17)    I wish mystical harm on people that use “on the cheap”, “steam punk” or “pwned” in any sentence.
18)    I look at people with dumb phones as though they were walking around with chisels and stone tablets
19)    Anytime the word “goat” is used in a sentence I shudder you se.
20)    Just like gas and fire I never let mentos get anywhere near soft drinks
21)    I am terrified of honey badgers, seriously honey badgers don’t give a ****
22)    Never gonna give you up was actually a great song..bastards.
23)    Im still looking for that magical tiger blood.
24)    42

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